Evolution

Maybe it's because I have too many thoughts zooming through my mind at once or I'm trying to find my direction in life, but this morning I sat and analyzed evolution. Not the evolution of species, but the ever-evolving pathway that we follow throughout our lives. If we consider birth to be our own personal big bang, the events following it, upon reflection, are truly spectacular. What drives us? To what point do we map our our goals and follow that road? While I sat on the deck, sipping my morning joe, I asked myself what I was going to do with the nursing degree I'm going to get. In truth, I won't have it for another couple of years, so all of this internal rhetoric is either me spinning my wheels too fast or the basis for a commitment to let life and experience take me where I'm supposed to be. I still haven't decided which one it is.

What I do know is that the culmination of the love, hate, hope, despair, joy and pain in our lives are all players in forming who we are and what we're going to do. Have you ever had a conversation with a total stranger that changed the way you thought about something? About yourself? When you take a step back, it is fascinating how these moments and vignettes help to construct who we are. I wonder what I will do with my BSN. I wonder how and if I will incorporate the ten years of corporate information technology experience I have. Will I want to stay clean in an administrative position or get dirty in the trenches? For now, I want to get dirty. It fits who I am at this point in my life. What will the future hold? I have no idea. But it's going to be one hell of a ride.